Blessed!

There are many women who have come in and out of Carsen's life.  Mostly all positive, cheerful, energetic women.  Their gentle spirits have guided us through every step of the way and gotten us to where we are now.  I am so thankful for the many women is Carsen's life right now including his grandma's, three amazing aunts, matt's cousin Brandi, my mommy friends, and his teaching staff and his therapists.  We have been blessed to have Meghan as Carsen's para throughout the past year!  I don't know how someone so amazing landed in our life.  It was like God saying, "Here ya go Kelly, take a break, let Meghan dig in, you deserve it!"  She had new energy, the time to worry, new motivation, open arms, fresh ideas, fun loving spirit and she happened to win over Carsen's heart.  The first day Carsen went to school this year, I was a wreck.  I was called in to come pick him up because he couldn't tolerate it and was disrupting everyone around him.  It was humiliating as a mom to have no control and to just want to have that normal mom's life.  Walk into school, drop your kid off, get a kiss and hug and worry that they will be okay.  That would be beyond amazing.  After the first few weeks, I got that and it felt so wonderful.  I felt like I was buried into a deep hole and couldn't get out and slowly I was able to climb out and see some sunshine.  So refeshing.  Meghan gave me that.  She gave me the biggest gift a mom raising a special needs child could get.  I kept telling her throughout the year, you will get it when you are a mother on your own.  She gets it, she gets the humiliation, the frustration or hard work in every step of the day, the nap time routine being disrupted and dealing with a tired boy, she got the question from kids that are hard to answer, she understood my confusion and as much as I felt bad for her, it was so nice to know that she was dealing with it the same way that I was.  Really, not much you can do about a lot of his day but try again.  Keep the focus on what is best for him and push on.  I was given the best gift.  How do I thank her?  Oh, how I will miss my break.  She made life so nice!  And I gained a great friend out of the deal!  Not many mothers can say that about their kids para's!  I am so blessed because my son was given an amazing caregiver, snuggler, tickler, and wheelchair pusher.  Not to mention they create great art together!  I have faith that we were given such an amazing person in our life, and a small break, that I am at peace with her saying goodbye.  She gave us the best our son could have.  We are thankful for the chance we got and are hopeful that we have other years like this last.