Yesterday!

I am feeling some mommy guilt lately.  Knowing Carsen's time with me will be limited with a new sibling, is starting to dawn on me.  We have had an awesome week just spending time with each other. Carsen is doing so well at signing for "more" of a food or a toy.  I can help him sign a million times over and over but he is the one that decides when he wants to do it.  Right now, I am very proud of his decisions!  If only it could last!  Yesterday we worked on standing from a chair.  He is starting to pull himself up if he has his bed in front of him to get up.  He is very nervous doing this because we have been trying to teach him protective defenses.  This means we have to let him fall, which is so scary for him.  We are getting there....here he is just hanging out.

This phone does not get thrown around like every other toy.  He grips so tightly!!

We spent the evening at the fair!!

Carsen rather look at all the other lights and rides going on.  Sensory overload in a good way!

Carsen loved the fireworks.  We usually don't stay up late to watch them but we caught them on our way out.

Auntie will forever cut his hair, first time to a salon and he gets a bowl cut.  Carsen was happy to have a strap to play with. 

 Being a big boy going on the train all by himself.

The yearly race between these guys.  Again, who is having more fun???

There are many kids in Carsens life that just know he is special.  They just get it.  Taelyn, one of Carsen's cousins, is always such a big helper.  She takes her job seriously and always makes sure he is safe.  There is no better feeling than compassionate kids that just help protect him.  We never expect it, but when we see it, we smile and appreciate it.

Pure sweetness!

I always try to keep Matt in the back of my mind.  We deal with Carsen's needs differently.  We struggle at different times than each other and grieve Carsen's struggles at different times.  Sometimes, I am not sure how I get my strength.  Most days, I just have it.  Most day's Matt just has it.  But, those few days where we see that he isn't running from ride to ride, or able to tell us which ride is his favorite, or if he wants cotton candy or mini donuts, or ask us why questions.  I tend to ponder for a split second what that must be like for other parents.  Then I look up at Carsen and see this perfect little boy full of curiosity and life.  I quickly forget, smile and carry on with life as it is and it was intended to be.  So, thankful for the strength when that happens.  My last words to Matt before he fell asleep last night were, "thanks for being such a great dad for Carsen."  I think he fell asleep before he could respond.  Oh well, onto another day!   Loving having family time with so much going on!

Family fun!