Jace's Birth story

I realize this post in 3 1/2 months old. But, we have finally moved from living at the cabin to the new house in Morris.  I couldn't not put this post in our blog because it was a super special day.  

My C-section was scheduled for September 27th, 2012 at 7:30 A.M.  The night before we had everything ready and prepared.  Carsen had Grandma sleeping with him at his bedside and the bags were packed.  As blessed as I was to be pregnant for the second time, I couldn't wait to get his baby out.  This pregnancy was much harder for me so finally feeling better was on my mind.  I laid down for bed (Just as I did with Carsen) and my contractions started.  I thought, "You have got to be kidding me!"  Can't we just wait until morning.  Guess not!  I called my Morris nurses and gave them a heads ups.  They said, okay we will just put you on the monitor for a bit.  I woke up Matt and we started to get ready.  I took my sweet time showering, doing my hair, putting on makeup and my phone rang.  It was my dad.  Why in the world is my Dad calling me at 1:30 A.M.???  He was the schedule Nurse Anesthetist for my c-section (thank GOD) and he received a phone call that I was in labor and he needed to come do a C-section right away.  What???? My contractions had gone a way by this point, we were 30 minutes from the hospital and the WHOLE OR crew was waiting for us.  OH &*#!  

I didn't realize there were going to do the C-section ASAP.  I wanted to wait until 7:30.  Ok, so we rushed to the hospital.  When we got there, Dr. Sam our surgeon, Dr. Bosl the baby doctor, Paige our midwife and the whole OR crew were sitting there waiting for us.   Oops!  No one told me they were going to call the C-section.  Needless to say, I was a little ticked, especially since my contractions were gone at this point.  

I quickly got ready and off we went to meet another little boy in our life!  I remember laying on the bed, all strapped down, with tears streaming down.  My dad noticed and said, "What is wrong?"  I said, "Nothing, I am so excited to meet him"  I remember thinking back through the past 4 1/2 years on what we had been through with Carsen.  The geneticists put our family life on hold until they found a diagnosis.  Part of me never thought I would never get to have this opportunity again.  But, I did and I was so overwhelmed with joy.  How exciting was this for the 3 of us?  It was hope for Carsen.  To have a brother to love and be loved back in return.  My dad wiped my tears from my face and said, "He's almost here!"

Proud daddy, looking on...

3:03 A.M.  Jace Matthew Schmidgall had arrived screaming like a mad cat...

My first glance at him, he was so beautiful and looked just like Carsen.  I am so proud!!

My dad made sure to let me know that he had a big nose..but otherwise he was doing great...LOL! Okay, Thanks for that update dad!

8 lb 2 oz and 21 1/2 inches.

What a blessing!  I loved his little lips and how chubby he was!

We finally meet our little boy and can't wait to show him off!

Daddy's little boy...

And a good eater...thank God, I will take that...

Carsen comes to meet his little brother after school and is so excited to see everyone!!

It is like he knew something special was going on...

You can see the excitement on his face...It was so adorable...we laughed and laughed at him!

"Look Dad, I have a brother!"

Probably my favorite picture of all time...that face reads pure love!!!

Already learning to be gentle...

Proud big brother, as he should be!

First family picture!

My boys....I am the luckiest gal in the world!

My parents and nephew Ethan holding him for the first time!

Carsen came to visit the next day and made the whole walk in...that right arm is up and means he is so excited!

I just love this pic of my parents...

Auntie Katie made sure she was there for everything...until the c-section was in the middle of the night and she couldn't leave with Ethan.  So glad to have her there and a part of our day!

Fuzz head...

Super cool dude!

Another Super cool dude!

When Katie would walk around the hospital, it confused so many people because they all knew I was having my c-section that day and couldn't understand why I would still be walking around...ordering food, drinking coffee and carrying on...

Ethan loves having another cousin!

My midwife, Paige checking him out and the whole OR crew...love delivering in our hospital! So many people to care for us and love my baby!

Carsen love standing at the bassinet to see him brother

So happy Auntie Alissa and Uncle Marky came to visit!  We really missed Cohen...but when he finally met him...he really could care less...what another baby?? Now, he LOVES to see him and play with him!

Ethan is a follower...even around Carsen! :)

My bestie Genie and Tate came too! So happy to see them and have them make the trip to Morris!

Carsen checking Jace out, once again.

Auntie snuggles!

We had to make sure Carsen got his walks in for the day...

Reminds me of my Grandpa Milt here...Total Lussenden!

Daddy's first bottle feeding.

Best buds already!  Matt was busy building our house but made sure to take 3 days off to spend at the hospital with us.  Probably the best 3 days of my life.  It was so nice to have him around when our life was so chaotic!

Sweet, sweet baby!

Great grandpa Floyd arrives...he looked at my belly and told me that it looks like I have another baby in there...LOL...So funny!

We left a day early to get home...

And when we got there...I realized how tired I was...but loved snuggling!

The first day home, Matt let me take a 3 hour nap while Jace sunbathed!

My handsome hubby

Already changing so much in the first few days!

Matt said, "I have been waiting to hold my  two boys together for a long time"  We are happy to be home and see how we were going to manage having a little baby around!

Believe

In a season of believing.  My little boy is making me believe.  In him.  His abilities.  In the past few weeks he has learned to balance.  This means he can now walk only holding onto one of my hands.  He holds my hand so tight because he finally grasped the concept that if he lets go, he will fall.  We have been working on defensive protective abilities with him for 3 ½ years!  I have heard over and over again, “He doesn’t have his protective extension.”  He was not capable of saving himself from tipping over when standing and his balance was pretty much obsolete. 

(I have a picture but my annoying internet won't allow me to upload it.)

Not today.  He has balance like never before.  I realize what this means for him.  This opens up so many more opportunities for him.  He stands at the oven and holds on to the towel rack.  He is able to pivot to the fridge and back to the oven, play with his doggie by letting go of the handle.  The look on his face is amazing because it show,  “Hey ma, look at my new skills, I am nervous so stay close but let me keep trying!”  Tears of course well up in my eyes.  I have flashbacks of all the locations I have had him walk to, hold on to, and even practice falling from to learn what happens when one lets go.  I have had a lot of guilt with the ways I have pushed him to do this task, but feel so much relief today.  Every single minute of work was worth it.  I want to go show everyone his strength.  I am more than proud.  We continue to walk around the cabin, hold onto everything in sight and learn from a whole new view.  This view is awesome!!!

Believe.  We sure do this holiday season!!

38 Weeks!

I am so excited that this will be my last picture before the baby!

The big day is Thursday!  We can hardly wait!

                             
I must say...matt is looking pretty good himself!

Happy

Carsen had his bad week last week.  Guess what that means...we get a super happy, extra goofy, giggly little boy this week.  With my last week to have just one little boy to hold, I am soaking up all the attention he is loving.  I pick him up from school and he is super excited.  He plays at home and wants me to come play with him.  I sing to him and he beams with excitement.  I push him in the swing and he deep belly laughs.  My mom started singing, "If your happy and you know it, clap your hands!"  Carsen has caught on that he needs to clap.  And claps twice, just as he should.  It is so fun to see him learn something new and show it.  I am working on getting a video on because it is darling!!

Here are a few smiles on our way to and from school.

We like these happy days!

Lasts and Firsts!

We have had a lot of lasts.  Summer has come to an end.  I usually have a hard time with that statement.  But, not this year.  The closer we get to Fall, the sooner I have my little boy in my arms.  We have spent our last day at the Benson pool...

our last night in our first home...

our last day at the Alex pool...

our last boat ride with the family, last bonfire, chicken on the grill and wake boarding boat ride.


We are now starting our firsts as well.  Living at the lake has been an adjustment but going well.


We now go for walks at the lake that are much more relaxing.  We enjoy lots of swinging.  It is quiet.  Almost so quiet, I can hardly wait for the baby to cry.

Carsen started Preschool.  I can't even express how nervous I was for this transition.  I will admit, I feel like I should have total control over how he behaves, how he walks into school, how he treats his para, how he naps and even how he eats in the big cafeteria.  I feel like I should have prepared him better.  I know I tried my best.  But I really struggled at letting go.  Letting go of the things I have no control over.    I really wish I could put my thoughts down better.  I love Carsen for who he is, but sometimes I wished I was the parent that just walked my child into school, dropped them off with a kiss and walked away with no worries.  He has so many needs and I couldn't believe I was dropping him off with people who barely knew him.  Caring people that wanted to help but were only going to learn how to care for Carsen by spending more time with him.  I wanted to make things easy for them and wanted so badly to tell them all his likes and dislikes.  But, I stayed calm, gave a quick 5 min update and walked away, praying his day would go okay.  I got a phone call at 11:00 that morning.  Carsen was screaming so hard that they couldn't settle him down.  I wasn't surprised to get this call.  I told them I would be there in 30 mins.  I drove like a crazy woman going 75 miles an hour all the way back to Morris.  I hurt so badly for him.  All he wanted to do was tell him something.  Who knows what it was.  If he could just talk.  Why does this have to be such a struggle?  I heart just broke for him.  When I got to school, his amazing para had calmed him down.  He was sleeping like a little baby in her arms.  I took him home and spend the rest of the evening trying to help him.  He screamed and screamed and wanted to just be close.  We spent the afternoon walking.  I know the neighbors here think I am ridiculous.  My belly is so far out there and I am shuffling my feet for 2 miles to get my 4 year old to calm down.  I can hardly carry him or hold him for long periods now, so the stroller is a life saver.  We sit by the lake and he is calmed by the small waves crashing on the shore.  After falling asleep in my arms, I can relax and just enjoy holding my big boy.  There isn't room on my lap anymore, so he curls in a U shape, around my belly.  He rests his head on top, like a big pillow, and his baby brother gently kicks at him.  A million thoughts run through my mind.  I am not sure how I will take care of these two precious boys when Carsen is going through his tough days.  I know I will do it, just because I have to.  But, it is beyond...beyond overwhelming to think about it.  So, I am ready for this baby to enter our world and be the little trooper he is gonna have to be.  I am so sick of thinking about it that I just want it to be here so I can finally live it, and just do something about it.  We started the countdown.  Ten days until my C-section.   I can hardly wait to see his little face.  His fingers and toes.  To hear his cry.  I can hardly wait to introduce him to his big brother.   In the midst of our very chaotic life, I continue to feel blessed.  The freezer is full of home made meals I have been stocking up on, the baby room is ready, the diapers are out and ohh so little, my help is lined up, and my belly can't stretch anymore.  Almost 38 weeks...and ready!!!

Carsen was all smiles when the day started.

He walked in like a big boy, I was so proud of him!

He loved watching the other kids walk in.

Our most important supplies.

I have to add, that when Carsen went to school on Thursday, he had an awesome day.  When I picked him up, he was super happy and giggly.  He was giggling at me on the way.  I didn't have to even do anything, so I think he was making fun of me or something.  It was so nice to see him so happy.  His para, Megan, said that the kids are really good to him and he loves having them around.  He made a bracelet and tried eating most of the beads.  He ate his mini corn dogs like they were going out of style. He was a big boy in the cafeteria.  He took an hour nap.  When I picked him up, he walked right out of school like he knew the routine.  Hoping this continues!