I am just down to a sore throat at this point.  I say JUST.  I am so thankful that the rest has gone away.  My conversation with Matt the other night went like this,  "If I die, will you marry someone who runs slower than me?  and don't marry one of my good friends...or one that lives far away from here, okay?"  Of course he was laughing at me, but I was serious.  This was in-between a temp of 103, shaking chills, dehydration, throwing up, tonsillitis, extreme weakness and glued to the bed.  At one point I jumped out of bed crying frantically and found myself calling my dad (who is on call for anesthesia this week) thinking my throat was closing off.  All I could think was I am home alone and there would be no one to help me.  My dad brought me out of my insane state of mind.  People always tell me how wonderful of an anesthetist he is, how caring, calm, and compassionate he is.  I thought I understood them but also know my dad, as a daughter should.  I now can see what they are talking about.  He made a house call to check on me when I could barely lift my head off the pillow.  He calmed me.  My father.

I am gonna be honest.  Sometimes, I wish I felt calmed that easy by my heavenly father.  I call upon him and he doesn't answer me.  I know he is there but feels so far away sometimes.  Why isn't it as easy to feel calmed while saying a prayer, as it is to hear my own father's voice?  He cracks me up, at one point he said, "You know when your throat is closing off, because it would sound like this...(making sucking/suffocating noises)  I laughed because I realized how ridiculous I must sound to him.  I am thankful for a dad with such great humor, so dedicated to his career that it is his life and such a realist he is.

My focus this holiday season is honestly to feel more at peace with the life we have been given and to put Jesus a head of all my wants.  I hear Christmas music and almost cringe because it just gets to be too much.  I feel so good about our simple tasks this year.  So far, we have only made one batch of frosted cookies, not 5, we have decorated our teeny tiny tree that is placed on a table so my sweetie Carsen can't reach it, and I have no presents wrapped.  I just ordered the last of my gifts last minute on amazon and only one will be late.  Heaven forbid one child gets a gift a few days after Christmas.  Christmas is about Christ this year.  I love the music, the presents, the cookies and all that but to be with my family and Matt's has been a priority.

We made it to Peoria last weekend.  This is Matt's mom's family.  They are so much fun to be around.  They are probably the most sarcastic group of cousins that have a blast around each other.  We are only missing one cousin in this pic.  We had one day in Peoria and I spent the day in bed, barely making it to the Christmas party that we have missed the past 4 years.  I was bound and determined to make it for the group shot!

This is just the start of our Christmas gatherings.   I am so thrilled to be feeling better today so that I can celebrate the big 3-0 tomorrow.  Hope everyone has a healthy Christmas filled with family, laughter and Jesus.  My mom always had an ugly crocheted decoration that read, "Jesus is the reason for the season!"  Sounds cheesy, but it is etched in my mind.  Happy Holidays!!!