FOUR!

Carsen is four years old today!! ugh!
I am so excited to celebrate his birthday that I wish we had more than one day!  Last night, I sat and ate some chocolate ice-cream, reminding myself what I was doing exactly 4 years ago.  Cleaning my house like a mad woman because I was due in a week and wanted my WHOLE house clean.  By 11:00 pm my house was the cleanest it had ever been!  I went to bed and felt that first hard core contraction.  "Crap, I was nesting, cleaned for four hours and was suppose to be saving my energy!"  The rest of the night wasn't easy as was the whole next day.  I am gonna be honest, it was the worst day of my life until I saw that chubby little Matt look a like.

I think chubby is an understatement!

Matt was so happy to finally hold his little boy, crying tears of joy!

Our past four years have been such a whirlwind of emotions.  When I look at Carsen today, I see the happiest little boy.  Full of life, full of energy and love for everything.  I would have never guessed having a child would make me so proud and give me so much meaning in life.  My life began the day Carsen was born.  God had a plan for our family.  He has changed me into a completely different person.  God gave us Carsen's situation to mold me into a mother with an astounding amount of patience.  I always try to put myself in someone else's shoes before judging them.  I see the good in people when before I may have been quick to judge.  I appreciate the little things.  I am able to acknowledge the hard working people I am surrounded by.  I recognize the need for my family and the amount of support I receive from each and every one of them in their own ways.  I feel a hope that is never ending.  I am changed because of Carsen.  That 8 lb 5 oz baby may have come into this world difficulty, but sure has made a huge impact in many lives.

Today, I feel blessed to watch Carsen walk while holding one hand.  He is learning to balance.  He is a goofy giggle bug that loves to push his parents heads together to make us kiss and then laughs his butt off.  He has that look in his eye that tells you, "I know whats going on mom, just be patient with me!"  He makes me cry every time I get that look.  He is loving feeding himself with a fork, sipping from a straw, and just plain making a big mess with every meal.  School is probably his favorite place to go to, then followed by his daycare friends.  I can tell he is recognizing his friends around him and smiles at them like he appreciates them.  Swimming is his favorite activity.  Not sure if it is because his dad is with him or if he really likes the water that much!  He is learning to hold his breath under water and is catching on with every dunk. ( Don't worry mom, it is just a quick dunk!)

Happy Birthday to my buddy!!  I am so proud to call you my son and look forward to seeing you later today!! Thank you for teaching me the most important lessons in life.  Love, no matter what.  Be patient, always, and Thank God for ALL our blessings!  I love you!!!