Paint away!

Carsen has the most amazing play room.  When we built our house, I never dreamt that the bonus room would be used so much.  The only problem, how am I suppose to organize and decorate a room this size? 

Our bonus room serves many purposes.  We have our weekly therapy, daily play times, play dates with friends, and evening family time there.  I am so thankful for this amazing room, but it was time for a little bit of art.   Carsen painted the most adorable canvas paintings.  I just let him have at it! 

Before and clean!

 Checking out the colors...

 Very messy, he giggled the whole time.

 Carsen's final project...beautiful!

These will eventually hang on the wall...yes, that makes them more permanent.  But, I absolutely love having art in the house that Carsen had a blast with.  I get the biggest smile when I look at the tiny hand and foot prints in his beautiful paintings!  This was a project for Carsen, but turned out to give me happiness and smiles everytime we use our room.  It is nice to finally have some color!  :)

Eventful day!

We had an awesome weekend at home!  Carsen's room went from boring tan to a very bold blue and grey.  The room makeover was fun, but boy am I glad we are finished!

Before

 Bye, Bye crib :)

After

 Carsen and Matt trying out his new bed!

Curtains and decorations coming soon!!

Now, I didn't get a picture of Carsen doing his "workout" this evening.  But,  I am not kidding, he CRAWLED a couple of little baby crawls.  Didn't expect that did ya?  Me neither!  We have been working on 4 point positioning to strengthen his upper body for well over a year now.  He is so so so so so close to crawling.  This doesn't mean he will crawling all over the place by next week.  Just thought I would update that we are getting closer.  

Also, we went over to our friend's house tonight to watch the Vikings.  I really didn't watch the game much because I had too much fun playing with the kids!  I just have to say, it is such a blessing to watch the typical development of kids.  It is so amazing how fast they learn and pick up on things!   Carsen enjoyed scooting around and playing with new toys and the kitty! 

What a great weekend!  Just wanted to update on the random's of our life!



Christmas came early

I am trying to be on the ball this year with Christmas. 

I think this is the last year I get Carsen gifts early. 

He has already played with 2 of them this evening!  Including his Thomas the train. 

Daddy had just as much fun, if not more.  :)

God chooses Mom

After many discussions with my sister and psychologist (ha ha) Katie, I finally decided to jump into the discussions of My Child without limits Support Community.  This was a HUGE step for me.  I know I drive my MIL nuts with my very private personality.  I keep my secrets for a very long time and share them when I am finally comfortable with my situation.  That is why I started this blog.  I am finally ready to share my heart and beliefs with those who are wanting to learn from Carsen.  I am so happy I started my online support because I have found some amazing parents that write about questions, concerns, challenges and joys.

I feel like sharing this story below because it made my cry like a baby.  No, really...a BIG baby.  I have had many people tell me, "You know, God chose you because He knew YOU could handle it."  Why me?  I never really knew how to take that.  Yes, it made me feel better for that split second, but my mind couldn't drift away from those worries and insecurities I live with.  Guess what, I FINALLY get it! 

Thank you to Katie for encouraging me to talk about our struggles.  I am not being judged, I am being helped and cared for.  (This only took 2 1/2 years to figure out...LOL!!)  Katie spends hours, I mean multiple hours listening to me and crying with me.  Then, to my very open MIL Ruth, Thank you for showing me your secrets to handling stress...I learn more from you than you even know, scary huh? No, thank you!
Thank you to my Mom.  She is an angel!  Really...she is the reason I am happy today.  Thank you to my best friend Genie.  She listens to me, she fights for Carsen, she trys to understand over and over again what I deal with and she is patient with me for months until I snap out of it.  Most importantly, thank you Jesus!  Thank you for forgiving my sins, for I know I am not perfect.

God chooses Mom

Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments forpropagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew.

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia.

"Rudledge, Carrie; twins; patron saint.... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity.

" Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence. She'll have to teach the child to live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child who is perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations." "I will permit her to see clearly the things I see---ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

The two of us were meant to be!

Thank you everyone for reading and encouraging Carsen!

You all give me the energy to keep up the hard work!!

Happy days!

We spend a lot of time with family! 

The Schmidgall family has lots of kids running around.  It has been so much fun to watch all of them grow up.  Carsen has recently been able to interact with the kids a lot more now that he is scooting. 

I feel so blessed to have such amazing cousins in Carsen's life!

(Please ignore my ridiculous voice)

Then, Cousin Logan decides this looks like fun...until the vacuum starts!

Stone and Taelyn helping Carsen walk, they love pushing/pulling him!

 Kyler and Carsen...need I say more?

 My only niece Brynley is on the move...only Logan can catch up!!

Not the best pic...but we always get PJ pics of the boys. 

Some of our favorite memories and hardest laughs are in the evening time when we are together!

I always used to worry about who would be here for Carsen when he gets older. 

Looks like I don't have to worry anymore.

 He has the most amazing cousins that surround him and love him!

Cousins are those childhood playmates who grow up to be forever friends. -Anonymous

***Carsen has 2 more cousins on the way!***
Aunt Alissa and Uncle Mark are expecting a little boy!  Our 2nd nephew will be here hopefully in the next month.  We can't wait to hold him and play with him!  Then, in less than a month we find out what Aunt Katie and Uncle Kyle are having!  They are due in March and we are so excited to have more cousins for Carsen!!



Simplicity

When I was pregnant with Carsen, I thought I was going to be "the bomb" as a Mom! 

Ha Ha!

I was having a conversation with our charge nurse.  I told her how OCD I was about my house.  I couldn't stand that Matt would throw his clothes in the laundry basket and have the legs of his pants still hanging outside.  Yes, she giggled and said "well, that will change when you have a baby." 

I really thought she was stupid for telling me that.  How can a baby change that about me?  I guess I was totally, totally, totally CLUELESS!!!!!!  Someone above had a bigger plan for me than just becoming a mom.  Little did I know, I would be learning a whole new language.

I have learned an unexplainable amount of information in the last few years.  One thing in particular I have been attempting to learn from Carsen is the ability to enjoy the simple things in life. 

SIMPLE...that word just calms my soul!

This chaotic, fast-paced world we live in has taught mothers to multi-task more things our brains were ever meant to multi-task.  (Does that make sense?) So, my new mission as a mom is to sit back and watch.    Enjoy my little boy for who he is and what he has become. 

The past few weeks Carsen has enjoyed exploring.  These are some things he has found.

Fall leaves. 
Aww, the smell, the sound, the warmth and ohhhh that noise.
It has captured Carsen's attention for a very long time.

(The sit and reach will be no problem for him)

Cords. 
What is it about cords that kids love.  Here is Carsen scooting to get the cord of our blinds. (I realize my house is not "baby proofed.") 

I watched Carsen play with these cords for at least 30 mins.  The joy on his face to catch that swinging cord, back and forth.  The hundreds of dollars worth of toys sitting throughout every area of the house for him to play with, left untouched.  Then I realize how blessed he is to be able to use those little tiny hands to grab, push and play with the delicate little strings. 

I ponder on what thought's run through his mind.

How simple life is for him.   I sigh, smile and we move onto other things.

*Thank you God for this amazing little boy I have, for he has taught me to appreciate the simple joys!*