Stash of clutter

I get a kick out of life. 

Sometimes, I am content, I pull out my camera, and snap some shots of my life.

This totally white winter and blizzard of a day have left me bored with my house and everything in it.

I stand in my kitchen wondering what to take a picture of.  This is what made my mind spin for a few minutes.

I always have a small stash of clutter on one of my counter stools.  I can't stand anything but my soap and candle on my counter.  So, it all sits on my stool until I have found a place for it.

I ponder on this picture I took.  This pictures makes me realize the most important things I have laid out during this week.

Carsen's camo AFO's...I couldn't live without them.  Well, Carsen wouldn't be able to make perfect steps without them.  They are so cute and so important in our daily routine.

Carsen's puma shoes...I love these shoes.  If he has to wear braces...he is going to get cool shoes.  Those are the only pair of shoes in the house that Matt doesn't question the price. :)

My MIL let me borrow a book from her titled "Women who do too much"  That title makes me LOL!  Don't we all do too much?  I wonder how I will find the time to read that? 

It couldn't have been a more perfect book placed by all of Carsen's belongings.

We are going the last step with Carsen's genetic testings.  (So we hope!)  The little white card is his insurance card with a sticky that reads -X-linked mental retardation panel-  I am needing Matt to call the insurance company hoping they will help pay for this EXTREMELY expensive test.  We are partial to this test.  This test is the last one that both geneticists at Children's and Mayo can come up with.  If this test shows positive, it would give a us a diagnosis we have been wanting for SO long.  But again, If this test shows positive, our life and dreams of having more of our own children have been shattered.  We have no idea what the next 8 weeks will bring us.  If any test would be positive, it would be this one.  I still believe Carsen's brain did not develop properly and there is a good chance we will never have an answer.

The last item you can barely see is Matt's wallet.  I believe money doesn't bring happiness, but those shoes that I ordered online today will be super handy with our MN snow storm!  Not to mention super cute! :)

What stash of important belongings lay in your kitchen?  What does your life consist of? 

I am curious as to what other families have piled in their kitchen (other than bills.)

You can clearly see what my life consists of.  That is the stash of important belongings for our family!

Inspired

I am inspired in SO many ways this holiday season.

My son inspired me more than anyone, of course.

The JOY he expresses when he gets hugs from the family that adores him.  Can joy be taught? Or is it a quality that is present since his first breath?

The LOVE he shows his new baby cousin.  He gives kisses!  Witnessing this brings tears to my eyes that no one notices.  Do you realize how much it means to me that my son can now show LOVE?

The PEACE he has when he is held my his grandparents.

The HOPE I feel when I watch him learn to feed himself Christmas bread.

I am Inspired...

I am Motivated...

I am Blessed...

My heart has been touched this holiday season!

Family times!

Due to our lovely MN weather, our family Christmas was cancelled last weekend.  Half of my family lives in Alexandria so we were still able to enjoy time with eachother.  I was happy there was some time to take pictures.  Here are a few of my favorites!

I love the background of this one...I was too lazy to get my boots on, so I took it out of their window!

Busy playing...and warming my heart with smiles!

Carsen and Cohen are snuggle buddies!

I love his nice pink, soft skin on Grandma's shoulder!

The light was awesome this morning!!

When I was taking this shot, my Dad was smiling...he thought I was taking a pic of his face!

My Dad taught Carsen how to give a "high-five" this weekend...I was lucky enough to get a good shot!  He works a lot with Carsen and is determined to help him in any way!

Christmas play-date

We had a fun play date this week...my house is furious with me!!!!  And, I don't care!

Sprinkles, sand, screams, timeouts...5 boys...1 adorable girl = priceless moments!

Visiting with friends, listening to friends discipline kids, watching friends learn to use their cameras, lots of laughts, spending time with our kids...couldn't have asked for a better day off!

This quiet time lasted for about 15 mins...I was impressed!

Who needs to save any cookies?  They are better freshly frosted and sprinkled!

Busy at work...

Playin some pool...

My floor :)

Blonde sweetheart!

Glad I had other girls to decorate...

The crazy bunch!

Was this in between a scream or a smile?

I know this is kind of gross, but I had no idea my granite would reflect so well!

My favorite picture...little hands eating sprinkles!

Emotions of a Two year old!

Today was day number 7. 

It was a day I prayed that Carsen was back to himself. 

He woke up again at 5:00 A.M. screaming bloody murder. 

I hate teeth. 

I hate waking up to my unhappy child. 

I hate that I have no idea why he cries like this for weeks. 

So, we deal with it and blame it on teeth.

On a more positive note...Carsen had an awesome day at daycare with his girlies...and this was how the rest of our night went...

Bath time with bubbles gave us a small smile...

Then, he decided they tasted good...

This is a smile...much better than tears...

To top it off...I asked him to say "cheese" and he gave me the biggest gift in the last 7 days...

I love this kid!

One day get-away!

My Grandpa turned 80 years old on Saturday!  My Mom and I flew down for a quick trip.  I contemplated for a long time if I should bring Carsen with or not.  He stayed home.  I hate to say it, but it was great!  Of course I missed him, but check out the photos I captured while in sunny Florida.

I took 500 pictures, you are barely getting a glimpse.

That smile gets me every time!

No stories on this picture today. 

Just wanted to share one of my favorite pictures taken of Carsen and I. 

I love that sweet, gentle smile!

A day of THANKS!

I am so thankful for many things in my life!  My wonderful husband and I made a deal last night.  It was past 9:00 pm.  He said just go...!  I was contemplating a late night workout at the RFC.  So, I said, "If I go workout and get to bed by 11:00 pm, will you let me sleep in until 7:00 am?"  Without hesitation, he said "of course!"

SWEET!!

So, I headed to the RFC.  I was the only person working out at 10:15 pm.  THE ONLY PERSON IN TOWN!!  First of all, that made me feel like a big time loser!  But, then I thought about how thankful I was that I am able to use my ability of running to calm the stresses that are to come the next 4 days.

Needless to say, I was exhausted this morning AND Matt woke me up at 7:30 am!!!!

I am thankful for my husband,  he is my best friend and he loves me even though I have a few quirks.  (I only have a few :)

I am thankful for my amazing son.  For he is the reason I have this blog and the reason I am proud of myself today.  He keeps me going and has taught me to see life in a completely different way!  A better way!

I am thankful for our family's!  You know those few quirks I have?  Yeah, they still love me and support me through those tough days we have!  I love you all so much!

I am thankful for my nephew's Logan and Cohen, niece Brynley, baby nephew Fisher on his way, and baby Marshall on the way!  You all bring the kid out of me again!  Words can't describe how much I love each and every one of you!!

I am thankful for all my friends!  You get me through my day! I have the most amazing best friend Genie.  Yes, we even have matching bogs.  I have been blessed to gain 2 really amazing friends Cassie and Amanda.  They too know my every quirk, stress, silliness and secrets!!

I am thankful for this amazing sunshine that is coming through my house.  It is so beautiful!  It was so nice of it to highlight my dusty furniture that was just dusted 2 days ago!

Carsen and I ate breakfast (that daddy made:) and then went straight to bed and cuddled.  He snuggled right into me and had the most amazing "thank you" smile on his face.  His long lashes and beautiful colored eyes peeked at me from time to time with that smile.  I am so thankful that God blessed me with the most lovable little boy.

Happy Thanksgiving!  We have so much to be thankful for! Sometimes, it is just hard to find the time or energy to find it!  Enjoy your beautiful day! 

Off to put up the Christmas tree!!

Silly songs!

I am not a singer.  In fact, the first time I had to sing to Carsen I made sure no one would hear me.  I made sure that no one was in the house or even out side.  The words came out very softly and very unsure, "youuu are my sunshine"  Wow, that was hard!

I am doing a little better today.  So good, that I am posting a video of Carsen from today.  My singing is not better but I have been able to let go of my singing insecurity so that you can see Carsen's giggles.  Is he laughing at me when I sing?  Maybe so.  I am glad I can make him laugh!  I have to share this because he is so happy!

I just love this pic of him from this morning!

Christmas Wish list!

It has been a while!  Finally nice to get a chance to sit down, watch the snowflakes fall, and listen to little Carsen scooting around with numerous toys. 

Life is always busy isn't it?  I feel like lately I can hardly keep up.  The stresses of multiple family gatherings are even stressing me out!  Both of our families mean the world to me but lately I have had to choose to put some things on hold for a bit.  I am learning to put Carsen first.  Well, I guess I have already learned that since the day he was born.  I am talking about making Carsen my main priority here.  Not just a priority, but my constant priority!  The first thought that enters my brain when I get up in the morning is "who wrote on their blog?" "what should I bake today?" "What gifts should I buy for all my adorable nephews and niece?"  He needs to be my constant priority this holiday season!!

Lately, I am getting distracted by multiple things around me that seem more fun than therapy at home.  With all these distractions I have come up with a plan.  This is like my 10,000th plan in the last 3 years.  I constantly change to keep things fun and simple.  We have been enjoying going to the RFC to bring Carsen in his gait trainer.  He runs around that gym like a little toddler boy.  The only thing difference is that he needs his trainer to hold him up.

With all new things, new stresses appear. 

We are getting more stares and more pitiful smiles.  We can handle that, we really can.  But, it breaks my heart to see people pity us. 

Matt asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year.  I told him, "I want to see Carsen walk."  That was a stupid answer...ha ha I know!  But, that is what I really, really want.  A good friend posted on her blog something that meant so much to me.  Speaking about her son who also has low muscle tone, she said  "Please think of little Abram and his journey to reach four years; if unkind thoughts drift into your head or out your lips about someone who is different.  Then, say a quick prayer for them, because they need all of the help that they can get."

She didn't just request a prayer, she stated a "quick prayer." 

My Christmas list changed.  All I want for Christmas is a "quick prayer" every chance we are seen with Carsen, followed by a smile.  We are happy to see him walk in his gait trainer.  We are proud parents. 

So, even if I can't get what I really want for Christmas, please keep us in your prayers this holiday season.  We have a few extra priorities this winter and need every ounce of energy to give my ALL to Carsen!



Enjoying our morning "workout"